Youtube/KCNS
Medicinal words: Bojan Panaotović
Sociologist Bojan Panaotović, director of the Novi Sad Cultural Center, is against physical punishment of children, not only theoretically, sociologically and as a public figure, but he respects and applies such an attitude in his own life as a father of two children.
He explains for “Vesti” that corporal punishment has existed since ancient times, but he does not see that civilization has achieved some brilliant results, such as a world without wars, or perfect individuals and society.
– Then why wouldn’t they try differently – Panaotović asks, noting that he is not familiar with all the details of the Family Law, but that in principle he supports the idea of changing the legal regulations due to extremely many cases of harassment and abuse of children.
He gives an example of the “allowed” reaction of the parents when the child is in danger of death.
– If you mechanically hit him on the fingers so that he does not push them into the current, that is not abnormal and pathological behavior. It was also endangered when you did it to save his life, of course it is not for legal sanctions. But, if you beat a two- or three-year-old child, because he did not defecate on a stretcher, but in diapers, or said something you do not like, that is absolutely unacceptable and harmful for normal growth and development. There is an old proverb that the beating came out of heaven, but as one Russian psychologist said, if it was good, it would not even come out, but would stay there – he says.
Panaotović asks an important question to all “purists”.
– If we are appalled by violence against women, that is, by a homeless husband beating his wife, or when we read about violence against the elderly, why doesn’t that apply to children? By what criteria is it unacceptable to be violent towards a partner, and normally to commit violence against children? I don’t see that anyone can rationally explain that – says our interlocutor.
It is extremely important, according to this sociologist, that parents talk to their children and that the relationship is established so that the children fulfill their obligations in order to enjoy privileges and rights.
– For example, there are no cinemas and pancakes with friends tonight if school obligations and household chores are not completed. It is not abuse, but what life brings to everyone, including us adults. If we don’t go to work, we won’t get paid and we can’t pay the bills, buy, travel… There are 1001 ways to persevere as a parent without endangering children, and the old saying goes “a nice word opens an iron door”. It means conversation and patience, but also firmness in attitude and decision – he pointed out.
Possibility of false accusations
According to Bojan Panaotović, parents who use physical violence should go through education on non-violent upbringing of children.
– However, abuses should be avoided here. For example, if the mother shouted at the child and said that she could not play games on the computer all day, but had to learn, and that the child reported and abused it, adding that she abused him mentally, so she invented and hit him, horribly is to finish in the service for social work and in education for parenting. This means that the right measure must be found, because on the one hand, physical violence is absolutely inappropriate for the age in which we live and modern models of education, and on the other hand, the competent institutions, the state and society must understand that the measure should be implemented. parents for anything and everything, to blackmail parents and grow up in an anarchic atmosphere which is the other extreme that can have equally bad consequences.
To know who is who
– It is outdated to talk on the basis of physical force, especially with small children who are sensitive, but also with teenagers. However, I must emphasize that you must not, on the other hand, allow your children to be neglected and ill-mannered, to abuse and blackmail. It must be known who is the parent and who is the child, whose word is respected. To know who is the educator and who is the educator – this sociologist points out.
Don’t vent your anger
– This is the 21st century and as we do not go for water now, walking three kilometers to the spring and not shouting from hill to hill, we already have water supply, mobile telephony and Skype, just as we no longer die from plague and scarlet fever, but we vaccinate, so science advances. New knowledge in the field of psychology, social psychology, pedagogy, upbringing and new discoveries show that it is not good to beat children, and especially not to shake off the weakest after a hard and hard day, frustrated by a situation, and children are, by the nature of things – he says Bojan Panaotović.
Comments are closed.